Cheyenne's story

blog is dead. check out storyocheyenne.wordpress.com

Although yesterday ws beccas birthday, I and her friends took her to vivo for a small celebration. We went to watch Indiana Jones, and I would like to say there were a whole lot of twists  to this movie. you go watch it tomorrow ok. Vivo is damn huge ok. yea
then when to bugis and 'shopped' ( we didnt really buy anything) although it is impossible not to buy anything at bugis. then i met up with my family for dinner. um, yea...

thats all for today

Im in a damn bad mood.  I just got my f**king report book back and I bet by now you guessed it! I didn't do so well. I'm completely beating myself up about it...AGAIN. It's like I can't do anything right! My mum wanted to take me and my sister for ice-cream. What for? I did horribly and she wants to take me for ice-cream. What's worse, my dad is coming. I've spent all my life just trying to make my dad proud of me. I would love to just hear him say 'I'm proud of you, Cheyenne'.  I don't want him to see my marks. He won't be proud. I'm a complete failure!


Sometimes I wish I wasn't born

Hey
today I was on work attachment at the national library kids fest. It was cool! it didnt feel like work at all the most was that it was the entire day but im happy that we are paid with CIP hours.!!!
Going back tomorrow!!!
HURAY

 

Friends are amazing. They are the amazing group of people that you can be random around. Today, we celebrated a friends birthday party. In the end, we sang 3 birthday songs for 3 different friends, one who had her birthday last month, one yesterday and one next week. We decided to. It was a good day.

On our general group blog, we had a spammer who decided to remain antonymous and insult one of my friends. This is where the rest of us kick in. We help each other out. We protect each other. (And we irritate each other to death!).

That's kinda what friends do!.
I love my friends. We are so close, its like we are family.

Dear Children of the world,

To all the eldest kids or the firstborns out there, sometimes you have to take the blame to protect the younger ones even though it’s not your fault. It’s an unwritten rule about being the firstborn. That is your main purpose, to protect and teach the younger ones. Not to be just like them and throw a tantrum. That doesn’t get anything done. You either take the blame or secretly punish yourself for not being there for them. It’s your duty. Especially the firstborn. Everyone after you can do whatever they want but as long as they have younger siblings, it is still their duty to take care of the younger ones.

Even in the smallest of fights at home. Please take the blame. You don’t have to though. However, if you don’t take the blame and raise your voice there is in fact no way for anything thing to be resolved. You will just end up with a bunch of monkeys screaming their heads off at each other and then nothing is resolved. Just take the undesirable path and take the blame. Most of the time, the truth will come out and you won’t be the one under punishment anymore. If you are unlucky, sadly you would still have to suffer while the guilty party is off the hook.  Usually, it is worth it.

Why?
Well, that’s a dumb question to ask! You love them, that is why!
It is a fact of life that if you love someone, and you really do love someone (anyone), you would be willing to suffer for them, take the blame and not ask for anything back.  This is a love which is shared among family, friends (yes I would suffer to protect my friends), lovers and more.

The people who carry out this painful duty are the people who suffer the most in a community. They feel that they need to take the blame for everything is so that they please everyone. They are hardly good enough for anyone that they care for a lot or so they think. They think it’s just so hard to please everyone. So instead, they try to be all brave and macho and take the blame for everything, when actually, they are weak and fragile but they keep trying to be that foundation everyone in their life needs.  At times, they just want to scream to everyone who thinks they have no other personal problems! Sometimes, these people take on too much for them to handle and they collapse but refuse to remain down and get up with the little strength they have.

My sister was going hysterical over something so small, and it was partically my fault but I didn’t know they were for her school’s ‘amazing race’ tomorrow. Had I known, I wouldn’t have done anything. They were just there on the table and thought they were the whole family and goes screaming at me after I had taken some (some! Not all!). She grabbed the phone and due to previous incidents, I knew she was going to call my dad who is overseas at the moment so I screamed it out and my sister went completely ballistic in front of my mum; screaming, crying, shouting. I just stood in the corner biting my lip. I hate crying in front of my family members or friends. I see it as a sign of weakness. I don’t like showing them that I am weak because I’m not and I can’t be.

That’s what being a good daughter, sister, friend and human being about.
Putting others before yourself, no matter what.

With regards,
a sad little big sister

Hey all, 
Today is marking day so I would like to take this oppertunity to pity my teachers...
OK!
Moment over. Haha but seriously. Some teachers might still be in school right now marking the last few papers...I think. I doubt really but yea, the would if they wanted to be accurate.

Today, I went to visit sasha (sorry if I spelt it wrongly). We updated our family tree by adding her and her mum and aunts, uncles,cousins and so on to the tree. I was cool being related to so many people...who I don't know.

I really don't like gong to family renions and have people tell me that they saw me when I was  baby and then I have to look like  understand and know who the person is when really I don't! It gets plain annoying after a while and then you have to go ask your parents how you are related to the person and they say  'oh she is your great aunt!' and you have to go 'OH!' like you just realised it and then you have to have this akward conversation because you don't wanna be rude or anything.

Sigh...
But still
I have a big family
and proud of it

Hello,
I hope all your mummýs had a very special mothers day.
We went to Eurasian Accosiation for lunch  
I loved the buffet spread!
The devils curry was like so spicy!!! I am never in a million years trying that again. haha
I wonder why eurasian traditional food are like so spicy.
I cant stand the spice! Its always so hot and devils curry is the worse of the worse! they even put like red chillies just floating around in the curry! I didnt take the chillies tho. That would be insane. I dont want a fire to start in my mouth. Haha. That would need alot of water to put out. haha. ok 
good night man

Hey, 
ok, exams are over
HURRAY!!!
so after monica's F n N practical we all went out to the new E!hub. Now, honestly, it isnt that great. Unless you love arcade and hate shopping then its perfect. So instead, we went to bugis and only covered like 1/8 of nugis street. haha ok we have to go again...only cover everything and watch a movie!!!
cheyenne

Dear world,
                If you have noticed the extremely ridiculous weather conditions we are facing, thank you for being so observant. Now everyone is frantically trying to reverse the effects that have damaged our home, Earth. Honestly, it doesn't seem to be working.
In fact, people are becoming even more arrogant saying that they don't have anything to do with the hole in the ozone layer or the ice melting at the poles.
Now, I am not going to promote the 3 Rs cause that would be a complete waste of space and because everyone has already heard it about 500 times.
Instead, I propose we all grow gills or gain the ability to stay underwater for a long period of time without having to go onto dry land (since it is going to be gone any way as in ice at the poles are melting and land will flooded). Well, I guess there is no point taking this seriously because no matter how much effort people put into promoting "SAVE THE EARTH", there will always people who will tear this campaign down. Either they won't help it and throw more 'useless' garbage in to the oceans or complain that no one is doing anything when they themselves aren't doing anything.

To the people who are trying to save the earth, I support you all the way. I hope your good intentions and deeds have some results.

To the people who completely ignore the effort put in to inform you about this current situation, well then the only true experience of the results were if you actually experienced them and told about them.  Well, then to you, I hope you have a good life drowning in polluted water with no ozone layer to protect you.

With regards,
Cheyenne Phillips

 For years, many families have passed down some sort of tradition or a gift; a family heirloom. Family heirlooms range from lockets to story books, from rings to almost anything. Now, coming from a pretty traditional Eurasian family, I wonder why there isn't a family heirloom. Maybe there is, my parents and my other relatives might be having a small argument about it but this theory is impractical. My parents are too close their siblings to fight over something that small. 

What brought up my interest in the subject was when I was spending a day with my cousin, Carmel. We were browsing through some photos for when we were kids. Then she told me about a dream she had back then. I'm going to skip the details about the dream except the last bit. We were in the spare room in my Grandfather's...old house and we pushed the closet away and we started banging the wall behind it. Just she and me. There wasn't anyone else. After that she woke up. She said the wall was hollow and that there was something for us behind that closet. The most important thing was that my Grandfather was at the gate.

I do believe in dreams, especially dreams involving people. They will either come true or hold signs that we need to read to understand. What if my family does have a family heirloom but only me and her are suppose to know about it or are suppose to have it. Usually, teenagers who have boring lives start to think that maybe there is more than a family heirloom that the family is hiding. However, with my family, I highly doubt it.

If there is something behind that closet in the hollow wall, how do we get it?  We can't simply walk to the house and retrieve it. It's already sold. We can't go up and ask to break down part of their wall. It's silly.

If there was a family heirloom, why did my grandfather make it difficult to get it? Why didn't he tell us there was a family heirloom? Why are family heirlooms so important? Well, heirlooms show a small piece of your history and are given to specific relatives. And I just realised...

How coincidental is it that 3 first cousins are all born in the same year within less than 3 months? One on July 25 and two on 13 and 14 September respectively. Yet, in Carmel and I were in her dream and not the youngest of the three peas. Strange. Why not anyone of the older cousins?  Why not the younger ones? Actually, I can answer that. The younger kids would be too young to understand. Why the middle kids?

I love my late Grandfather. In fact, I don't even was to use the word late. Even though he may be gone physically, in my mind he's still here, watching every single thing I do.  It was obvious who my grandfather favored. It was obvious who was closer to him.  Is that why he gave that message to us?

More importantly, Why don't I remember the dream? I mean, I would remember a dream as creepy and eerie as that. Carmel wanted to break my dream catcher so that I could have the dream.  I don't know.  Why was this made so complicated? Why didn't she tell me back then? It would have been easier to search for it.
Now...

 

 

                                                                          ...now, we just have to wait and wait...

 

 

                                                                                                                                            .... and wait...

 

Family heirlooms. They can hold something much more important and your past,
something so much more important that is it worth hiding.

There will come points in your blogging life that you won't have anything to blog about..
I have come to that point.

It's like you know what you want to say but there is no way to really put it in words.or may be you do know how to put it in words but it just doesn't look right. Sometimes, you feel that it just doesn't seem useful to society like it is just really nothing anyone would be interested about. The world has better things to worry about like politics and global warming.  Your stuff doesn't seem as important.

'Blog about your exams, girl' my cousin told me.
Hmm, exams... Do I really need to elaborate? It's a semester test which counts about 50% of your total grade. Need I say more?

Sometimes people talk about things just to fill up empty space and they can go on and on about it when it doesn't need elaborating. It's just to fill empty space. Why don't people try and type something constructive? There might have been something that happened and you are inspired you to write about it, something you heard, something in the news or something you experienced. Please not about what you did or how you feel or all your secrets. Your blog is not private you know. It is on the WORLD WIDE WEB. That means anyone, anywhere around the world can read it. Not everyone wants to know your private lives.
By writing a diary on your blog, its just another way to fill empty space.

Then again, isn't the Internet like empty space that needs filling up and society helps in filling that empty space with useful, informative articles or useless junk which sometimes can teach important lessons. Please don't ask me what they are. You have to go find them out yourself.

BLOG stands for bout life or garbage. Everyone has reached this 'criteria', if you wish to call it a criteria.  Now I think I will have my say in life or garbage.

Introducing National Service to women. National Service currently trains young Singaporean men for combat if there is a need for it. If you are asking why I'm writing about this now, I am currently watching the Arena(a debate amongst students). This is an argument have had many knickers in a twist. There are benefits and there are disadvantages. However, I feel that Singaporean women should not be obliged to serve National Service but if they wish to, they may. No, I'm not being sexist. National Service for women should not be made mandatory but only on a voluntary basis. Not all women wish to delay their education to serve their country. However, by having an education and going into specific areas do allow women to serve their country. They do not need to serve their country in military areas and if they do wish to, women can always join the armed forces. I don't see the issue of making it mandatory for women to enter National Service. Oh, and by the way  team which disagreed that women should not enter National Service won. :)

Ha ha oh well that's my life or garbage

 o 

The heat is unbearable here in sunny Singapore. The word 'sunny' is an understatement.  With the scorthing heat, a dip into the pool is always very refreshing. 

 I love going to swimming especially on a really really hot day like today. I also like to swim when I have alot of my mind. It's cleansing; the momet you dive or jump in, it's like all my worries and troubles have been washed away. Reality is washed away.  In water, I feel lighter, more flexible and more graceful. It's almost like a dream.

It's surprising that I love water so much considering that according to the my star sign, the virgo's element is earth. The ocean and seas have always given me inspiration, kept my calm and giving me the answers I need. It's a strange and mysterious place, the ocean,seas,rivers,lakes or any large bodies of large water.The secrets and mysteriesthe ocean holds have been kept from mankind for over thousands of years, ever since the beginning of time.  It's beauty, hidden from the surface world.

Yet, water is feared. Many fear drowning into the depts of the oceans or even in a shallow swmming pool. Many fear the dangerous of the ocean and overlook the beauty it holds...

...Some just fear it...
Usually, we can't help those who just fear water. This fear is cause by something in their past and the idea of entering what may seem like a shallow pool, brings back bad memories.

Some embrace it but not the same way the most would. They let the ocean take them, litterally. They put themsleves in the hands of the ocean (which if you think about it, doesn't have hands.)

The ocean.
Beautiful?
Myterious?
Dangerous?
Taker of lives?

You decide.

As for me, it is all of the above.

You know, now since there might as well be no possible way that I think I'll get in, considering that the programme is for Sec 2s only, I might as well let the cat out of the bag.

I was planning to enter VIP. I wanted to live my dreams and everything and while I was getting way ahead of myself, I didn't read the fine print. How arrogrant right.

I really can not believe I didn't tell any of my friends this because I feared their reactions. The only person's reaction I could predict was Aless. She's soft and gentle. Her reaction would not be so shocking as the others. Everyone else would over react but she would underact.She would not ask question after question without allowing me any possible chance of answering them. So I told her first. I also told her my predictions of the reactions of the others. I am sure I am accurate.

Even if I still don't get the chance to leap into that window of oppertunity, I keep wondering what life would be leaving St. Anthony's Canossian Secondary School(SACSS) and join Victoria's Intergrate Programme. I couldn't help but wonder how I would part with my friends. They have been the best for the past years. I've been friends with most of them for about more than half my life and some for a shorter period of time however, each and everyone is and will remain special. I don't care about those stupid rumours which are spreading faster than wild fire in SACSS because me and my friends are way stronger than the lies that are constantly being spread. You can't prove lies and you cannot break friendships. If friendships go bad, they go bad for the stupidest of reasons and years later you regret cause it was your fault and you lost a very good friend.

That brings me to another point. Making friends.
I can bet that most of us at least remember our first day of school. I'm not going to touch on Secondary School yet but Primary School.
You are in a totally new environment and you need to know who to clique with to survive. At first, no one dares to say a word. After icebreakers and introductions, you can already see formation of cliques during recess. The start of new beginnings, right?
Have you ever notice that kid sitting in the corner, alone? No friends...
But then again, why should you care? As long as it's not you, it's perfectly fine, right? May be you were that kid in the corner. You would have felt vunerable and helpless and it would be very intimidating going up to a big group of people you don't know and as to be friends and you are nervous so you mumble and hestate alot. What do they do?
Either 1) laugh in your face (if they are that cruel)
2) call you a weirdo or a loser and keep on talking about whatever they were discussing
3)completely ignore you.

Well, I would guess that you were to young to remember, however as you keep climbing from one level to another, the fact that you have no friends or no one to hang out with is still engraved in the minds of everyone. Therefore, you are still avoided and nasty rumours start spreding but then it is primary school we are talking about,so the nastiest thing ever said was most probably that you were an escapee from the mental hospital. We weren't that harsh in Primary school.
Now, seriously, if I touch on secondary school, this post will not end. 

Well, yea. Basically, to sum up everything above, social status is important, even at a young age. The moment you are in a group, you feel stronger, more couragous and more important. It also, in a way, secures your future in higher institutions of education. If you are in a cool group when you were younger, you think you would still be cool when you are older. Well that is not always true. You can end up any where. All you need to make it to the top is Ms Martins two favourite friends which she feels everyone needs to have by their side is Style and Grace.
Style and Grace will get you where you need to be, so listen up. They know how to get where you want to be. 

You know, I like a diverse group of friends; Emo, Serene, Unique, Insane, Goffy, Mathamatical, Hamburger-lover, Piggy,Goddess, Kambing, Fun, Childish and most importantly enjoy a little bit of Drama here and there.

And, trust me on this one.


IF YOU MESS WITH MY FRIENDS, YOU HAVE TO MESS WITH ME!








Thank you
Goog night.

I like disney.
Childish as that may sound, I really do love disney. 
Especially the music and the movies. 
My favorite Disney movies would be peter pan and addalin. 
Sometimes, it doesn't matter what movie it is...as long as it is a disney movie.
Disney is not only for the young but also for the young at heart. 
Disney also pleases the inner child in each and everyone of us.
Sometimes we feel like running around like a child
but we stop ourselves cause we are adults or teens...

time to let that inner child run for a bit....

Everyday, the moment I step into school, the very first people I see are a group of my closest friends. We have been so close for so long. You could say we know everything about each other..


... or so we think.

Everyone has secrets. If you don't have secrets, you are not human!  All humans have secrets and sometimes it's not something everyone is happy about. We would like to have no secrets so we would not feel guilty. Sadly enough, by human nature , we have secrets. Why can't we just tell the world everything?

Well, thats utterly stupid! Why the hell do you want to do that? To let yourself be vunerable and let everyone know the real you. I don't think so.
Everyone has something to hide...

Sometimes, it's difficult. We want to tell people but we can't. What will their reaction be? How will they respond? Will they still like me after that? 

Fear of rejection is the reason why many keep secrets, including me. Oh come on. I bet everyday, you put on that fake smile and walk up to the people you call friends, knowing that part of you is hidden. Sometimes, we don't notice because we are already so used to it.
Everyday, wake up, brush teeth, wash face, change, eat breakfast, go to school and at school, that fake smile comes.

Sometimes we wonder why we do hide things. Why can't we just show the real us? The answer is the fear of rejection.
This is link to cliques. In a typical al girls school, cliques may vary.  There usually isn't much of jocks, populars or smarts. Its at random. Mainly based on our primary school friends, who we were friends with stay our friends. Then, what happens to the newbies? Whichever random group wants them can have them. 

I do recall a friend. She was a 'newbie' meaning she was not from my primary school. I befriended her. She was and sitll is a very nice and cheerful person. However, all the time that we spent together, I did not notice that she was hiding something. You see, if you are a big fan of our National swimming leagues or competions, you might  know who she is.  I'm not sure if she has been accepted into our Singapore National Swimming Team yet but she is a darn good swimmer.  The sad news came during our Sec1 class bonding camp.  After the campfire, which our parents were invited to attend, her parents spoke to her, and just before debrief before sleeping in, she came to us in tears... She had been accepted into CHIJ St. Nics. for her swimming. Mty other friend as I do recall, tearedup and ...water works you know. I had mixed feelings. Happy and proud that she was going for her goal but at the same time, alittle lost. She had been my close friend in those...short 2 months...
I just realised. She never told us about getting transferred to St. Nics...
May be she thought it would not have happen or that she did not want to upset us...

She never did actually. She went off and won several medals whic we are all proud off. 
We are still in contact.  

As long as you are a friend of mine, you are a friend for life.\


I'm trying to relate this to me...
What if I don't tell my friends what I am preparing and I get in?
Their response to it may be unbearable.

Today, Victoria Junior Collage(VJC) had their open house for students interested in their Intergrated Programme (IP).  The moment people hear about IP of any Junior Collage (JC), well, it's like that saying about flies and honey. Everyone who thinks its a way to a brighter future will go swarming to it. Some have other reasons....

With VJC having almost the same standrad of thearthe studies as Singapore Arts School, It is no surprise why I am attracted to VIP.  Trust me, as long as you know who I am, you'll know that my passion and dream is to go into thearthe studies. If you know me and did not know that, then you must be really stupid. Another area I would like to specialise in would be marine biology. If you think that space is the most unexplored thing in this universe,well, then you are wrong. The ocean, the largest swimming pool you will ever find on planet earth, is infact the most unexplored part of this unverse.  This is because of the dangers that can happen occur during ocean exploration. Ocean exploration is limitless. The ocean makes up 2/3 of the earth's surface and yet it is still an unexplored world, calling man to take a dive and see what it has to offer. Creatures of massive size and various colours swim past him, welcoming him to the unknown world. Leading him to caves untouched by human hands where he meets smaller sized creatures busily going about at their day.  They notice him and swim around him in a friendly manner.  He swims out of the cave, sees the sun shining above and swims upwards, hoping that the amasing would last forever but the moment he breathes in the air, the feeling has dissapeared and he eyes the world so familir, there is nothing much left to learn about the world above....but the world below....

What are the wonders that the world below holds?

Is it better than the world we see everyday?

VIP is suppose to bring out the potential in their students. Now, I'm thinking. They might as well take in all the students that apply or want to apply since they want to 'bring out the potential in their students'. So...take in everyone and bring them to their full potential.
Oh wait. There is a criteria to meet.  I really do not understand. There is a criteria to meet but you still want to 'bring out the potential' in students. Let everyone in and then bring out their potential. Not see if they have potentialn and then bring them in and bring out more potential. Honestly, whats the point of that?


Bring out the potential of everyone. Not the ones you pick.

 Someone give me an honest answer ,please. You think that our world will keep living on and on? A  continues cycle of life? Well, I guess no one actually knows...except may be God. He does have that master plan sitting on his desk.How ever, the question 'Is it collecting dust?' really can not be answered (unless you visited God and saw it collecting dusk...which i highly doubt).
 
The question still remains. Is the world going to end?  According to http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Will_the_world_end&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=Is_the_world_going_to_end , many people have different views. Some say and believe that on the 12th of december 2012 (notice that the date is 12/12/12), is the day in which the world will end. Others have another point of view. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/When_is_the_world_going_to_end&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=When_is_the_end_of_the_world . 

Well, now we have two questions. 
1) Is the world going to end?
2) And if so, when is the world going to end?

Not easy to slove these questions. In my opinion, there is an end. There are opposites right. Right, wrong. Good, bad. Left, right. Start, stop.
Begining....End...


With a begining there is an end. That answers question 1. With the second question I can't help there.
I'm just living it one day at a time

With exams four days away, I bet most of you are wondering how i find the time to blog. Well, easy. I just stay up late for a bit and spill out my thoughts and imagination.

Blogging, believe it or not, as a good way to practise composition (that's if you use correct english). We just let our imagination flow and keep typing and the next thing we know, we have written a composition. Some people do not see it that way. They just blog about their daily lives or when they have inspiration. 

This morning, our english teacher was telling us on our Paper 1 and what possible composition text types will come out. Personal Recount is one of them. Now, think about it. When you write your daily blog entries , a possible example [ like, omg...school was so boring..blah blah blah], it is infact a personal recount.  HOWEVER, there is a difference. You can be very informal when it comes to blogs , but when it comes to exams that will have an affect on your future, DO NOT, and i repeat DO NOT use slang, short forms bunch of little dots ( e.g .......like.......that sucks.......and ......i hate........) and all the other stuff you love to use. Play with your vocabulary. Note: Songs do have good phrases you can use!

Well, what about describtive? If you use livejournal, they have these things called writers block (or something like that). They give you a question and you write about. Do not just give a one word answer. Give a  bit of explaination  or description. Make it interesting.

Usually, if you blog regularly, these two will not be much of a problem for you.

As for me?

I'll be deciding between one word, descriptive or narrative.
(Hey! I won't know til I see the paper)